“I’m a modern-day baking wizard at producing chocolate chip cookies (from the pre-made dough, of course), second best to no one at making brownies from a box, and frozen pizza? Piece of cake! So the next most logical adventure is French macarons!” Said no one ever.
Ugh. But we’re off to the races with the “World’s Best Pastry Chef” Pierre Hermé’s macaron cookbook on a blind adventure to master(?!) one of the most technically challenging pastries known to mankind. I mean when you think about it….these little guys are the easy result of mixing a few ingredients together, toss it in the oven and you’re done! Man was I wrong. Very wrong.
I learned that there’s a difference between store-bought vanilla extract and real vanilla beans.
I was shocked to realize when the recipe calls for vanilla pods (from 3 different global sources of all things: Madagascar, Tahiti, and Mexico) it assumes (obviously incorrectly) that one already knows you don’t just toss a bean into the bowl.
I sifted thousands of grams of ingredients. My wrists are extremely sore; and kitchen a complete disaster.
I became sickened to draw the unfortunate conclusion that a macaroon is 99.9% sugar.
I tried to make my own almond flour. And failed miserably. Who knew you could just buy that?
I procured eggs by the dozens, flour, sugar…needless to say thank god for Costco. And precision weighing? Yikes.
I had no idea how to make a perfectly circular shape- I mean the template takes care of that? And never used a pastry bag.
I threw away hundreds and hundreds of macaroon shells. Others I left on the counter hoping they’d fix themselves.
I cried. I swore. I had what seemed like an endless headache. And I’m still having nightmares.
I sat in front of the oven for hours not knowing what to do.
And I promise to NEVER EVER complain again about paying $4 for a perfectly crafted 2 (ok let's be honest, 1) bite sweet cookie treat that costs under twenty cents to make.
But all in all after extensive trial and error from different mixing, folding, whisking, beating, and baking techniques the macarons turned out pretty damn good.
They’re absolutely perfect and something that I now have a whole new appreciation for.
We’ll see what’s next. I currently have enough pistachio paste on hand to make 720 macaron shells. But for now I need to recover. Probably for a long time.
PS - Anyone want a macaron? I have some. They’re $4 each. And trust me. That’s a real bargain.
